Friday Night Blog: Credo

I believe...

...that belief in God and Darwinism needn't be mutually exclusive. After all, who's to say that God didn't click his fingers, and, ta-dah!, Big Bang? Of course, the whole Adam and Eve, and dinosaur-denial thing is bollocks, so maybe we should still hunt down Creationists and make them suffer.

...that selfishness is the only sin. Iain M. Banks wrote that in one of his books, and the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. You only sin when you put yourself and your needs in front of evryone else's. Be nice to everybody and we'll all get along nicely.

...we're closer to living a "heathen" lifestyle than we ever have in the last 2000 years. We don't believe in God until we want something and then we'll pray like buggery. Why not call God, Odin, or Thor, or Loki, and have done with it. Plus we all then get to believe in Valhalla and when we die, we have a big party with lots of food and drink and sex. Result.

...that the more stupid you are, the louder you have to talk.

...the world would be a lot better off without people in it. Fears of Global Warming aren't about saving the planet, they're about saving our (generally) worthless arses. The planet will reset itself when we're gone, and the cockroaches will take over.

...we are all geeks. Everyone is a fanatic about something. It annoys me to be called a geek (in a disparaging way) when I know all about Star Wars or Knight Rider or whatever. Hey, you, Mr. Hardcore Football Fan! You know who scored the winning goal in the 1992 FA Cup? How many caps Steven Gerrard has for England? You do? Oh. Guess what? You're a geek!

...sometimes I touch.

...that Peppa Pig is probably the greatest body of animation work produced this century. It has a clarity, a simplicity and a soul that a lot of other children's (and adults') TV is sadly missing. A whole range of emotions can be conveyed in just a narrowing of Peppa's eyes, or a tilt of Daddy Pig's head. Genius.

...pop music is underrated and sneered at by those who think they know better. Pop is popular - of the people, by the people, for the people. That doesn't mean we have to accept the pap forced upon us by shows like The X Factor. In the eighties, pop encompassed everything from Echo and the Bunnymen through to Fields of the Nephalim, to Phil Collins and out to Samantha Fox. It was diverse and eclectic, and we didn't all have to sit in little boxes.

...that eating implements made out of wood are the work of the devil. Chip forks, lolly sticks and ice-cream spoons should all be piled up and set ablaze.

50 Questions

I've been tagged and am now tagging you! Copy and paste these questions on your own "note," replacing my answers with yours, then tag 25 people to do the same thing. Remember to tag me back so I can see your answers!

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? There was an actor called Craig Stevens, I think he was in he original Dragnet TV show. Apparently my mum just liked the sound of it.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? When I had conjunctivitis a few weeks ao and got really fed up.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? It's OK.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Pastrami.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Yep, one son.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? I think so.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM? Only if there's a 'y' in the day.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Never. Unless you were going to pay me lots of money. At least £10,000.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Crunchy Nut Cornflakes.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Nearly always.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Pistachio.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Their face.

15. RED OR PINK? Red. But pink latex. ;)

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? My ability to get distracted easily.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My sister, Fiona.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST? Couldn't be bothered to read everyone's. Just a select few!

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Um, I'm in my PJs at the moment. They're grey, if you're interested.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The Backyardigans

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Green

23. FAVORITE SMELL? Roast Chicken

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO? My son, Joseph.

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Yes, he's OK. ;)

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Tennis.

27. HAIR COLOUR? Blonde.

28. EYE COLOR? Blue.

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No.

30. FAVOURITE FOOD? Roast chicken and rice.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Watchmen

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Grey. I told you already.

34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Both, as long as it's sunny.

35. HUGS OR KISSES? Kisses.

36. FAVORITE DESSERT? Nigel Slater's Trifle.

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Laura.

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Most other people.

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Hyperion by Dan Simmons.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Don't have one, I use a MacBook.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? Nothing, I was out at Harlow's stock-take all night.

42. FAVORITE SOUND(S)? Joseph's laugh.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? The Stones if pushed. Not too fussed about either, really. I prefer The Kinks.

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Iraq when I was 8.

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I can wobble my eyes from side to side really quickly.

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Chatham in Kent.

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? Anyone's!

48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR CURRENT PARTNER? Sometime in the first year of uni in Swansea.

49. IS THE CUP HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY? Depends on what's in it.

50. IF YOU COULD SIT DOWN TO DINNER WITH FIVE PEOPLE WHO WOULD YOU CHOOSE? Nigel Slater (as long as he'd cooked), Jean Michel Jarre, Jim Henson, Davina McCall, Kylie Minogue.

10 Random Songs

So here's what you do. Fire up your iPod or iTunes (other music players/programs are available), and set it to Shuffle Songs from your entire library (no cheating by choosing a cool playlists). Then you have to list the first ten songs that come up, who they're by and what album they're from. No skipping! Then just write a few lines about that song - if you like it, any memories attached to it... And then post it and tag some friends!

1. "Je Sais Pas" by Céline Dion from D'eux - Great start... In my defence, it's my wife's album, but it is probably the only credible album Céline Dion's done, and this song ain't too bad. Don't feel the need to skip on...

2. "Satin Chic" By Goldfrapp from Supernature - That's a bit better! A nice glam pop song with a honky tonky piano. Not as good as some of their other stuff, but nice enough.

3. "Dream Of Me" by Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark from The OMD Singles - A track from a compilation album. Quite good, but not as good as the singles.

4. "Knight Rider 2000" by Jan Hammer from Drive - The very cool theme from the Knight Rider 2000 TV movie from the guy who did the Miami Vice music. Not as cool as the original Knight Rider but cool nonetheless. In a jazzy, piano bar kind of way.

5. "Snow Cherries from France" by Tori Amos from Tales of a Librarian - Tori doing her thing. Unremarkable but quite nice. (Ugh. I have a bland music library from this little selection...)

6. "Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses" by U2 from Achtung Baby - That's better. A great track from an excellent album. Reminds me of being in a Youth Hostel in Orange County, California, eating cheese left over from a ploughman's and chips at the English Pub down the road. This was one of the CDs left in the hostel. I listened and loved.

7. "Without You I'm Nothing" by Placebo from Without You I'm Nothing - Ah, a bit of pre-millennial angst. Nice. Goes on a bit though...

8. "Spies" by Coldplay from Parachutes - Don't know how this got on here.... Music to fall asleep to....

9. "Strange But True" by Prince (for arguments sake) from Rave Un2 The Joy Fantastic - Nice little funky track from one of the purple one's less successful albums.

10. "Halloween" by Kirsty MacColl from From Croydon to Cuba... An Anthology - Ah, the sorely missed Miss MacColl. She had some great songs, and I don't remember hearing this one before.

Friday-Night Blog: Hmmm.

Well, I've got myself into this mess, now I'd better think of something to write. I could go on about the final episode of Battlestar Galactica and how it totally rocked, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about how frakkin' awesome it was, but that would risk alienating everyone who doesn't give a toss... All I can say is I hope the people who make Lost watched it and were making notes of how to not suck. We can but hope...

So, what shall I write about? I made some granola today. Yep. That's exciting and sure to get everyone commenting in their droves. Actually, it's become a bit weird now that I know people are reading this - I don't know if that means I've changed the way I write, or what I write, but it's strange to think that I'm not just blogging to the wall, so to speak. It's nice that people are reading it, but also a little bit scary.

Would quite like to see Monsters vs. Aliens. Looks almost as good as a Pixar movie, and quite funny. It'd be good to see it in 3D, but that would involve a trip to the Big Smoke (which I'd like, but at about £15 for a train ticket these days, it'd work out at quite pricey trip.

Sorry, but that's all I've got at the moment. I'll try and do better for next week. If you're watching on Facebook, please become a fan. Thank you.

Dr. Horrible' Sing-Along Blog

Right, read this, and then get your ass over to Dr. Horrible to see Joss Whedon's latest meisterwerk before it's too late (Sunday July 20th, to be precise). To while away the hours while there was a writers' strike on, Joss threw together this internet only (for the time being) musical supervillan story for US! Yes, You! So get over there and watch it. Buy the T-shirt, and quit moaning!

Back in Business!

The kinkyMachine is back!  Yes, I've got a brand new MacBook, and I'm gonna use it (for good and possibly for naughty, but probably not for evil.  That'd be wrong.)

It's soooooo cool!  I mean, my old iBook (500MHz Power PC) was about 6 years old, and compared to that, this new MacBook (2.2 GHz Core 2 Duo) is like hot poo!  Everything's so quick, from something simple like System Preferences, to the speed it took to import umpteen thousand photos into iPhoto (which is so much better than the older version I was using).

And the built-in Bluetooth actually works with my RAZR, so that's an added bonus.

Plus, I managed to set up a wireless network without even really trying.  Still not sure how I did it...

Plus Photo Booth is a laff!

Aargh!

Sorry everyone, but my iBook has finally died! I'm writing this at an Apple Store, so I've gotta be brief. If there are no more updates for a while, or you don't get emails from me then that's the reason. I'll try to be back ASAP!

Why can't things just work?

Time for a Dilbert-style "Gaaa!" I got a new mobile phone for Christmas - a Motorola V3 RAZR, mainly because my old Nokia was just embarrassing, a camera phone would come in handy every now and then and because I really wanted the theme to Battle of the Planets as my ringtone. So I thought, OK this phone looks good, it does MP3 ringtones, Bob's your uncle.

So I got the phone and thought, I'll just hook it up to my iBook with a USB cable, and transfer the files across. Nope. The phone is recognized as a USB device, but doesn't mount as a volume on the desktop. iSync sort of worked - it dumped a few random phone numbers on the phone with garbled names attached, but that wasn't too much of a problem, as my address book on my iBook is so out-of-date it's got Abraham Lincoln's IM name in it. The internet basically said that wasn't going to work, so I thought I should try the Bluetooth route.

I went to Argos and bought a cheapie Bluetooth-USB adaptor and plugged it in, thinking that that wouldn't work, but the little B logo appeared in the menu bar and the Bluetooth Set-up assistant did its thing. The iBook recognized the phone, the phone recognised the iBook, they paired up like Kylie and Jason, and everything seemed to be fine. And then I tried to send a file to the phone, but apparently the iBook was "Unable to Validate Device".

Bizarrely, I can send stuff from the phone to my iBook, but not the other way around...

No one on the internet seems to know the answer. I've even tried a program called Moto4Lin, which theoretically should allow access via a USB cable, but I keep getting a "phone is busy" error message (?).

And so the only way I can work out to get stuff onto my phone is by sticking it on the 'net and then using WAP to download it - at a cost.

And hence my "Gaaa!". But it's alright, 'cos my son Joseph has decided he'd like to eat my Bluetooth dongle...

Seasons Greetings! (aka My Favourite Present)

Hello, everyone! Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, and got whatever you wanted most from Father Christmas. I had a pretty good day, got lots of lovely presents, but I think my favourite has to be the first volume of The Complete Peanuts (1950-1952), given to me by my wonderful wife!

For those of you that haven't got a scooby (and I know there are some of you out there...), "Peanuts" was the daily comic strip created and drawn by Charles M. Schultz for over 50 years, which gave the world, Charlie Brown, Snoopy and Linus and Lucy. I've always been a huge fan of these strips, and have a collection of the old paperbacks (with huge gaps), but these books are truly wonderful. Every single strip is reproduced in this gorgeous hardback book with an introduction by Garrison Keillor, an in-depth essay on Schulz's career and an interview with the (late) creator. Also included is an index to each strip, so you can find out the first time that Charlie Brown wore his famous zig-zag shirt, or the first time Snoopy had a thought-bubble.

This is a fantastic book, but one that poses a bit of a problem... How the jig am I gonna afford the rest of the collection? Hmm, I may have to publish an Amozon wishlist here!

Phase Two Complete

Well, that took less time than I thought! All the old DirtyPopSlut blog posts are now here, all gathered together with Music label. Other labels, such as TV and Film are available, too, and when I get a chance I'll set up an image map for the site header so you'll be able to jump straight to those sections from any page.

It's funny looking back at all the old posts how some things have changed (eg. when Britney Spear's footwear was all she had to worry about), and my, ahem, predictions for new bands all went a bit pear-shaped (Oversol split up, The Modern have kind of stalled - only The Chalets show some signs of surviving - new album out in 2008 hopefully!), and the Adam and the Ants reunion didn't really happen. Oh well.

Now I've got to decide if I'm going to bring the Craig's Place posts back into the fold.

Go back... Way back... Back into time!

For those of you that have bothered to have a trawl through this new version of the kinkyMachine, you may come across some stuff which predates Blogger (and my iBook!) Yes, I've found the Wayback Machine at archive.org!

Rather scarily, most of my musings over the years have been collected by all the little web spiders and have been kept for posterity (if that's the right word!) I've skimmed off the choicest items and put them into blog posts as near to the correct date as possible, but feel free to have a poke around the archive. A lot of the pictures have gone, but there are still some bits and pieces floating around.

I may even get around to writing up some of the journals that i kept while i was in uni, so that'd be a bit scary to read now!

Phase One Complete

Well, that's all the old ScreenDump posts re-integrated into the new kinkyMachine, just got to free up a week or so to get all the DirtyPopSlut ones back into the fold. And it's not easy to do when your iBook's got a broken logic board, and the only way you can see the screen is by squeezing the case to the left of the trackpad (which kills your hand after a minute), or by hooking it up to a TV, which makes type quite tricky to read.

If only Blogger would come up with a merge blogs facility...

Oh well, time for bed!

All together again

So here we are, back with the new look kinkyMachine. The best posts from all my other blogs, and going forward, a whole new bunch of stuff. Basically, I just wanted a place to talk about all the good stuff in life; the best films, the best music, good food, great books, anything that tickles the taste-buds (or whatever sensory organ is appropriate...)

Stick around, it might be fun.

Update

Oh it's all been a bit quiet, hasn't it? The welcome message is still banging on about Big Brother 5, when Big Brother 6 is about to start! I'm sorry, if anyone out there is an avid KinkyMachine fan. I'm trying to work on a totally new design, a new concept, but it's not going very well.

You see, I've decided I want the site to be more about me, so that it'll be a place for me to put all my writing, my photographs and even, gulp, my music (which has already been converted into mp3s, so it's just a matter of time).

The trouble is, I can't quite get the layout right. I've got a lot of elements that I like, but they're just not hanging together properly, so it's getting quite frustrating. And then I've gone an overwritten the one bit of HTML and JavaScript that I liked and haven't got a copy, so I'll have to do that again. Bah!

On a different tangent, I've set up another blog purely for music (other people's, that is) over at DirtyPopSlut (deleted). Feel free to have a look and drop in a comment or two. There's links to mash-ups, dodgy remixes and iTunes goodies, so go and have a nose. It's only been up a day or so, so give it a chance. And if you want to be a fellow 'slut, then let me know.

Right, hopefully the new site will be up soon and this blog will remain (in content if not in design, so stick around!)

I could have guessed...

You are Schroeder!


Which Peanuts Character are You?
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Skype Me, Baby!

Skype me now!

You're probably saying, "eh?", so let me explain. Skype is this cool little program, that allows you to talk to people over the internet, with your voice and everything. And what's more, it's free! So, if you go to www.skype.com, you can download it, and then you can chat to me by clicking here: Hello!

On the kinkyStereo today: Garbage by Garbage

Happy St. George's Day!

Well, yes, I'm very pround to be English, so I don't feel it's a bad thing to celebrate St. George's Day. If the Irish can celebrate St. Patrick's Day in every single corner of the known universe (especially in the US, where of course, every single person is Irish!), then why can't we celebrate our own patron saint? So get your flags out and celebrate! (Drinking warm beer is obviously optional, and we don't condone that sort of thing here!)

Karma (Again!)

See, exactly my point. On Wednesday I went to see Duran Duran. Good Karma.

On Wednesday, Caron Keating died. Bad Karma.

On Wednesday, I found out that Disney were bringing out a film based on Chicken Licken. Not much harm in that, you might think, but me and a couple of hugely talented friends were just about to start work on our own Chicken Licken film. I'd written the script, and they were getting all geared up to start the artwork and pre-production. Bad Karma.

Do they balance out, do you think?

Happy Birthday to Me!

I'd just like to say a big thank-you to everyone for all the cards and presents for my birthday. I'll still accept them if you haven't sent any already! We had a really good night at D-Tapas in Chelmsford last night, and it was really good to see everyone again.

It's still quite strange to see the number 30 on all the cards. I'm not sure I'm ready for all that grown-up business! Still, I'm sure I'll get over it.

Three Nights in Lyon and the Great Question of Karmic Balance...

So there we were, at half past six in the morning in Terminal 2 of Heathrow, having got up at stupid o'clock to get there. I needed some credit for my mobile, so I went into Boots to get a e-top up thingy for £20. The girls swiped the card and then my debit card. She gave me my receipt and I walked off while The Wife got credit for her phone. And then she said that my credit hadn't gone through, so she gave me back £20 in cash, and to try again later. The Wife got her credit without problem, so we went off to check in. And then I checked my balance and found the credit had gone through. So then you're faced with the big dilemma aren't you? Do you fess up, or do you just slink off and hope no-one realises? Well, as you can imagine, we scarpered off through check-in!

Lyon is gorgeous (once we'd worked out where the hotel was - it comes in handy that The Wife is fluent in French, and likes talking to Gendarmes...). I might upload some of the pictures I took if I can do it easily... BTW Photoshop Elements Panorama generator is pretty darn cool...

The food in Lyon is... unique. For some reason, they seem to like eating the parts of animals that other people think are best left to the actual animal - ie. internal organs, heads, feet... One night we decided to try some of the more palateable stuff. I had snails to start - they're not actually bad. All I could really taste was garlic and parsley. And then I had this sausage thing called andouiette, which is made up from suspect bits of pork, and tastes pretty good, once you get past the smell when you cut into it... Boiled cabbage, or something a touch more... flatulent. Still, it's all covered in a delicious creamy mustard sauce, and we ate like pigs.

We also discovered the delights of kirs - creme de cassis and white wine. So, as you can imagine, we HAD to buy a bottle of cassis to bring home. And the karmic balance of the universe swung our way again. The cassis cost about 12 euro (still keep calling them francs, but then so did most of the people in Lyon. I suppose we'd still say 5 quid if we had to join the euro-zone), and we paid with a 20 euro note... and then got about 12 euros change. Wahay!

It rained all day on the Sunday, and snowed on the Monday, so I suppose the karmic balance swung back the other way. Oh well, you can't have it all!